Alan Michael Cheeks...I will think of you forever. You were, after-all, my very first friend. Being 11 months apart, you led the way for everything. You prepared and taught me how to do so many things growing up, from the very beginning. You were the kindest, gentlest, most loving little boy. I actually think of you when my little Grady notices when I cut my hair, or change the color of my nails...because you would notice those kinds of things. The little things. You’re heart was so big. Your smile was amazing.
There’s so many memories growing up. We rode bikes for hours, played Nintendo, went to daycare, camps, and just lived and loved each day. I’d "go out" with your friends and you’d "go out" with mine. You taught me to play soccer (you LOVED soccer) when, in sixth grade, having never played before, I decided it would be a good idea to try out for the team...and I made it! Because you taught me. And you were so proud of me. I remember the compassion you showed towards me as a preteen going through all the changes and struggles preteens do. I remember the protection you provided my heart during major family life changes...now looking back, maybe at the expense of your own. I also remember having to spend all year clearing my name because I would follow you in school with your teachers and they automatically assumed I was going to be a class clown and as outgoing and silly...I’d do it all over again. I remember you holding my first son, soon after he arrived, and how gently you did. I don’t even know why that stands out in my mind, but it does. The last vacation we went on to Edisto a couple years ago will forever be a standout memory for me...the one where you taught my oldest son to mic drop...because that’s just who you are.
You were, most likely one of the smartest kids I knew, but so so hard headed at times and so difficult sometimes. You had a huge sense of humor. You were humor! You loved making people laugh. You had amazing potential and I remember when you dreamed of being a marine biologist and you could’ve been, you were just that smart! You were so thrilled when you got your scuba diving license! Or there was a time when you were gonna be a stand up comedian and ventriloquist. You carried around "Charlie" forever, constantly being a ventriloquist and making everyone laugh...and again, you could’ve been....you were just that funny.
Life was hard and choices and decisions that were made led us down very different paths. As adults, I never stopped praying for you and loving you. We’ve had our hard talks and we’ve had our good moments. You knew me as the one who "tells it like it is"....and I can honestly say, I would say all of those hard things to you again, because I love you that much. I just wish to the very depths of my soul, it had made a difference. You wrestled so much with things from early on and ultimately just couldn’t get over them.
You have 3 beautiful children, who will wrestle with things now, too. But I pray that God will help them and show Himself only the way He can, and they will follow His lead.
It’s just the girls now. Just mom and sisters. We will miss you. We will love you. And I know, God, with all his mercy, embraced you with that fatherly embrace, you so desperately craved in your life. I hope you found peace. There’s no more addiction, or wrestling, you don’t have to fight those battles anymore. I pray that someone’s life will be changed by your experience and good will come of it. I will always wish for a goodbye but that can’t be changed.
I love you. My first friend, my only brother. Goodbye, my Michael. Or, as you would say, "bye buddy!"
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