Joy

Joy. A word often used when referring to Christmas. You know that feeling of complete happiness? Pure contentment? A lot of people call that joy. The last few months have taught me so much. Actually the last few years have. I feel like it's a been a constant season of change, growth, and learning. And all the while, God is in total control, and for that I am so grateful. And I'm learning a different kind of joy. Life doesn't have to perfect. It doesn't have to go just like we imagined or planned, to be full of joy. I read a more accurate definition of joy recently...

"Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation." ~Rick Warren 

These people fill every inch of my heart with joy, every single day!

So, this Christmas season, joy is a choice. It may be a sad Christmas, one that you are missing someone, mourning a loss, or dealing with extraordinary stress, but in all of that, God is in control and in all of that is joy. It may be the happiest Christmas yet and with that comes joy as well. With all the anticipation that comes with celebrating the birth of our savior, we rejoice. We choose joy. We rest in that assurance that God is indeed in total control. We rest in the assurance that He is good and He is faithful. We rest in the assurance that despite a current struggle, an inconvenience, or a loss, God loves us. And just the thought of The Maker of the universe, The Father of the seasons, The Creator of everything and every one, loves even me, is enough to fill me with joy.

The kids and I have enjoyed this season together, celebrating with fun magical things, reading and learning of the real Christmas story, and doing several fun random acts of kindness. It's been a wonderful holiday season so far! I have to say, it really seems to get better every year! So this week, as we prepare to celebrate Jesus' birthday, I pray you are filled with joy. And may that joy carry you through the hard days and rejoice with you on the good days. Wishing you and your family a merry, joy filled Christmas and a happy happy New Year. <3

My Thirty-First

I began a journey in June. Not a fad, not a temporary thing, but a lifelong journey, I pray. Chris has been so so supportive and has began a journey of his own as well. It has been an amazing change for us and for our family. There's some things you just don't think much about when your young and for me physical fitness and healthy eating was one of those things. I got to a point this year, where I found myself complaining about my physical status, emotional status, body function, and weight. It was an area of my life that completely controlled most other areas. That may sound like a far reach for some but if you've been there, you understand that statement. I haven't shared about my journey much because it's been a personal intimate journey with myself. But this week, I reached a major goal. It was not without an insane amount of prayer, hard work and consistency. Today I did it. My thirty-first. My thirty-first pound. It's gone. That was my goal. 31 pounds by my thirty-first birthday. I can't even believe I'm throwing that ridiculously embarrassing number out there! But hey! I still have several more to go, and hope with continued consistency and healthy habits, slowly and steadily I will get there! :)

Chris and I have researched gluten, preservatives, etc., and the way it can affect ones body and help with certain disease processes for many different reasons and after some deep discussion and a little tough love from my sweet, we went for it! We made the decision to change our eating habits and make physical fitness a priority, not just for the two of us but for our whole family! We eat very little "boxed" food and lots of natural fruits and veggies, nuts, beans and preservative, gluten free good stuff! I have felt the best I ever remember, in the last six months. And I can probably say the same for him! We run and walk for miles, we enjoy morning exercise together, we grocery shop on the outside aisles, we snack on good wholesome foods, and we are having fun! I'm not at all saying we don't enjoy a quick meal from time to time, the occasional pizza or eat cake with our kids on their birthday, but we have made changes and they have proven to be good ones! I would say we follow the 80/20 rule! ;) 

It's an empowering feeling to have control over something that used to control me! It controlled the way I felt, it controlled the way my body functioned, it controlled my mood, being over weight and unhealthy controlled me! And now, the week before my thirty-first birthday, I finally feel like, with God's help, I have control! He's shown me that I have the ability to choose to live differently and the difference it can make in my life! I'm just pounds away from my pre-baby weight and more fit than I have ever been in my life, and it feels good!! It feels amazing! I

I struggled lots, with whether I was brave enough to share the specifics, but honestly, I was inspired by reading different peoples story when I started and still am today, and they helped me realize it was doable, even for me! If it's something you have thought about doing or tried 100 times before, try one more time! Give it more shot, because it's worth it! You are worth it! I'll share with you some of the things that seemed to make the biggest difference for me and success this time!

We live in a country where obesity and unhealthy habits are running wild. It won't change if we don't change. We can blame it on all sorts of things but ultimately it's something we have to take control of, ourselves! 

Here's a few things that have helped me most:

*Start a prayer journal. It was very helpful for me to write the reasons, goals and prayers. I write on the good and the bad days! I was a very emotional eater (hormonal eater? If that's a thing ;) ) and writing helped me release the emotions and call on God for help. If you think that sounds silly, try it. He will guide you through even something as seemingly insignificant as the desire to munch! :) and I believe He wants us to take care of our earthly bodies as best we can!! 

*Get the whole house on board! It makes a tremendous difference for the whole family to eat healthy! 

*Don't go on a "diet". Seriously, diet seems temporary to me. It seems like the idea that you will do it for the time being and then go back to the old. For me, making the decision to change it and change it for good made a huge difference. I don't feel deprived of certain foods. I love trying new healthier ones and seriously now crave good stuff, very rarely do I even want the significantly unhealthy option! 

*Accountability. Whether it's an app on your phone or food and fittness diary you write by hand, record what you are doing!! I used to think, I don't eat "that" much! But I'm telling you, you can order and put down 1000 calorie meal at a restaurant (even certain salads!) and not even realize it! That's where this comes in handy. And when you begin to see the calories you burn doing certain exercises, I promise a 1000 calorie meal looks a lot less desirable when you look at that in terms of running 7 miles! If I run 5 or 6 miles, I want it to count for something, not just break even! ;) 

*Make a commitment! There's this quote I read, during my inspiration to get started, that said "it takes 4 weeks for you to notice, 8 weeks for those closest to you to notice, and 12 weeks for everyone else"...so when I began I was committed and determined to give the most honest 12 weeks I could. And if I didn't see any changes, fine! I would go back to the old way, but I didn't have anything to lose. 12. That's what I was willing to try it for. That's 3 months. That's doable. That 12 weeks was all it took to have me hooked! It was prob actually long before the 12 that I figured out this was one of the best changes I had ever made! During the first 12 weeks I saw major changes taking place, physically, emotionally, hormonally, and just over all well being. Every aspect of my life has/is changing! And NONE of it bad! 

*Try new things. Be willing to really try different things. Different exercises, different foods, different schedules. You will surprise yourself by what you can do and what you enjoy! :) I mean, I LOVE yoga! I would never dare let a soul see me do it, but I love it!! And I will never say yoga is easy or sissy again! Never! 

*Not enough time is not an excuse. Yes, you are busy. Yes, you have lots on your plate, but yes, you do have 30 minutes to get up and walk. You have 30 minutes to do a quick circuit workout. You have 30 minutes. You do. I promise! ;)

*Pray! Did I mention prayer and meditation is extremely effective!? ;) 

*View yourself holistically. I've always had a holistic view on healthcare, being a nurse. I love the idea, but I never really applied it to myself, because I wasn't "sick". Boy was I missing out! When you get the physical, emotional, and spiritual self all on the same page, it is a wonderful thing!

*Don't stop. Remember you are on a lifelong journey. Yes, you may celebrate and splurge from time to time, but be sensible. You will have physical set backs, emotional set backs, and motivational set backs, but DON'T STOP. Stick with it. This past weekend, I experienced one of the most valuable rewards I have yet. I did it. After a couple months of physical and emotional ups and downs following the loss of our baby, I ran. I ran alongside my man for 3 whole miles. For the last several weeks, I have lacked motivation, spirit, and stamina, and I was sure I would never run as far as I had. Even when my spirits were low  I didn't stop, I walked a lot and whined a lot, but I didn't stop. And all of a sudden, I found myself pushing past the point I was giving up at. Way past, and it was an amazing thing! It was then, I realized that you just gotta keep going. You will get up the hill your climbing, if you don't stop! Seriously, I am excited and thrilled to run the next time, eating healthy is coming almost easy, and once again I have that incredible feeling that comes with progress. However slow it may be, it's progress! If I had stopped, I never would have gotten there...so, DON'T STOP. You can fall, you can whine, you can pout, but don't stop!!

This may be a somewhat irrelevant post to most, but I felt led to share, for the few who may find themselves in limbo. Limbo between what they want and how to get there. If you find yourself struggling in this area, I would encourage you to go for it! Get it yourself together and give it a try. The changes are magnificent and absolutely wonderful. I would have never imagined on my 30th birthday, that just a year later, I would be/feel like a whole new person! I was able to process and deal with things differently! All together different...even dealing with things that maybe should have been dealt with a long time ago! 30 was good, and I can't wait to experience the continued wholeness in this upcoming year! :) If you want to jump, but can't, go! Go all in! You got this! :) Go. Conquer your giant! ;)

Life in The Fast Lane

Sooo, I'm behind. Like REALLY behind on documenting, and I was thinking about just skipping it all and starting fresh from where we are, but I couldn't, so I'm going to attempt to catch up! It will be a very sporadic catch up, but that's the best I've got. ;) We completed six weeks of school, took a week off, and got started back. Completed another six weeks and are now relishing our week off. It's all going very well! Everyone is enjoying their extra activities and life is moving fast!! There's 12 weeks of academics in the books for us. We will complete one more six week cycle before Christmas and then just two more before we wrap up the year! I can hardly believe how quickly time is going. 

Grayson is still a math whiz. Loves it and will work ahead most weeks. He has almost completed book one of two, so he's excited about that. He's also beginning to get an intro into multiplication, which makes him feel super big! ;)

Ada is loving the phonics this year and is pretty much reading anything and everything she wants. That's something she is absolutely passionate about. She really really gets into books, making our Five in A Row journey even more enjoyable!

We of course had to celebrate our 12th day with a dozen donuts! :)

As I mentioned, our Five In A Row journey has been just as enjoyable as I hoped! They have both gotten into the different countries, art, literature, and cooking that we have done with our story books. I honestly have enjoyed it also! It's been so fun to take a story and dig deep into it. We have traveled from the Appalachian Mountains to Europe, and soon will dive into Chinese culture. It's been a wonderful experience and has given them time to develop some fundamental skills before we begin the third grade curriculum My Father's World offers.

Cursive has been fun. Ada has mastered her name and really has beautiful penmanship for a 5 year old. She's definitely the book worm and artistic one. Grayson is taking to it well. His name, of course, is a bit more complicated so will take us some time, but he's giving it his best effort this year to work on his writing!

Scouts continues to be a big part of their life. Ada has recently become a Daisy Girl Scout and has loved every minute of it! Grayson has moved on to a wolf den and is enjoying really getting into the handbook and completing activities this year. Looking forward to some exciting events coming up in the new year, Thinking Day for Ada and the Pinewood Derby for Grayson! :)

Every Friday, we spend outdoors or digging into a science topic. These have been particularly fun, because Grady participates and the two big kids are very suitable for hands on and exploration. They really enjoy these experiences, as do I!

 Grady is proving to be a very motivated, enthusiastic learner! He loves to be involved and have "school work" while the big kids work. He is in a wonderful 3K class at our church, and is very much enjoying it. And as far as I know, he's being a good boy! ;)

 We continued, this year, with the private homeschool art classes that Grayson attended in the spring of last year. He thoroughly enjoyed them and she has eagerly waited her turn to attend. They make wonderful creations and have learned a ton about the elements of art...elements that mama just can't teach. Art is definitely not a strong subject for me! ;)

 They each get the opportunity to play one sport of their choice. Ada is still LOVING gymnastics! She appreciates the challenge, enjoys the beauty and grace of the routines, and is not intimidated by a little (ok, a lot) hard work! Grayson is in soccer this fall. He is enjoying it and really seems to be learning a lot. And he finally, in the rare company of both grandmas, scored his first goal of the season!

 Library days are fun for everyone!

Five in a Row has taken us on many adventures! We have been in bull fights, had tea parties in England, planted Mr. McGreggor's garden, hunted owls in the night, traveled around the world to make a pie, and so much more! It's been fun and we have learned so much! :)

Most recently we have taken our annual apple picking trip! Such fun, even in the rain! We enjoyed making apple butter, apple pies, and even were able to freeze some pie filling for the holidays! We had so much fun making stuff this year, now that they are at an age to help, there will be many many more apples coming home with us next year! 

We have had an opportunity to participate in some service projects and zoo classes with some of our best buddies! It's so wonderful to have a friend close by, even if it's a rare get together, that time is so cherished, by the kids and adults! :)

As a family, over the last several months, we have also taken on the large task of physical fitness and healthy eating. Chris and I are both in our 30's now, and the kids are definitely growing up. It's our goal that they see us work hard to take care of our body, what we are eating and how we are treating it. The big kids, too, have gotten very involved! They are trying new foods and we all enjoy a family bike ride and jog immensely! It could be some of our happiest times with one another! Just being outdoors and taking care of ourselves together! I want them to understand and value the importance of taking care of this one body way before they are 30! ;) We certainly don't make perfect food choices, with the occasional desert, but it's been fun to explore lots of new, healthier eating options for the family. And I can't even describe how it's changed my life! That's definitely a blog for another day...;)

So there we are, running through each day, barely hanging on! It's going by incredibly fast! And after what proved to be a very difficult few weeks..and still is some days...the grief our family has felt is beginning to soften and our lives are beginning to feel happy and normal again. We still get sad from time to time and it's very difficult not to imagine what would be happening now if our little one was still with us. And I'm sure as we journey through the next several months of what would've been, there will be difficult days. I heard one of the best messages and so timely, Sunday, at church. To paraphrase, She basically said that grief  is because of love. It's an emotion we must be willing to feel if we are willing to love. She also touched on how we must be grateful and thankful for the gifts that are given us, no matter how temporary...they don't belong to us, they are simply a gift. We are not the owners, we are only entrusted with this temporary gift. And that's what I needed. I am so willing to feel this grief each and every day, as a result of having experienced the love. It's difficult to explain to someone that you loved a child you never met, but you do, and that love, that incredible amazing love, is so beautiful. And despite the grief, I am eternally grateful to have loved THAT little one, if even just for moment. I have no idea what the future holds, but I am so thankful for these precious little ones here beside me, their dad, and the life we share. I love them with all of me and I am forever grateful to teach them, mother them, love them and lead them through this, oh so temporary, life, that seems to go by so fast. I have so enjoyed writing our story, celebrating their victories, learning from their mistakes, growing in The Lord together! These years will forever be my favorite. And I look forward to so many more adventures and so much more love together!