May I Never Forget

As I hold my sleeping baby on my chest, I realize the middle of the night feedings are beginning to phase out and she's sleeping more through the night. I can't help but think, while we sit in church, this is the last little one I will hold and sway to the hymns being sung and walk around with during the sermon. It's impossible to do anything without realizing this is the last time. I'm scared to blink! I know if I do, she will be 5 and the others will be so grown! There really are times I wish everything could stay just as it is now. Small children who want to be with me, who need me, and who fill my home and heart with the best laughs, hugs and love. I want them to keep pushing me to be better, dig deeper, and try new things. The reality is, they will grow, they won't want me as much or need me as much, but I pray we will always, no matter how big they get, make each other better, dig deeper and try new things. I hope we talk every single day, just as we do now. I anticipate with great joy what the future holds for these four amazing people, but the selfish part of me sometimes wishes I could keep them forever, but since I cant, I pray I never ever forget. All of this! May I never ever forget.

I hope I never forget the passion my big boy has for creating with his legos, technology, and outdoor play. The beauty with which he plays music, his outgoing personality and his kind heart. May I never forget the sound of my baby boy coming in and asking if he could sleep in my bed "just for a tiny minute", his rare but overwhelmingly sweet physical display of love he will occasionally share, and the pride he shows as he's beginning to learn to write and his desire to "read words". And my girls! May I never forget watching this absolutely adorable sister bond form. My oldest girl has an inner light bright enough to light up the night sky. May I never forget her passion for loving others, reading books, and telling jokes! (They rarely make sense, but it's so fun!) Her self determination, love of art and babydolls. And my tiny girl...oh my sweetness. I want to remember it all! Her first laugh! Her bright smile! I can only imagine what a lovely girl she will grow up to be!

The days are chaotic and rushed sometimes. There's so much to do and get done in the few hours each day has. And with four children, craziness is always around, but in the  midst of it, I never tire of looking at these beautiful faces. They are a true reflection of God's love and grace and may I never ever forget. These, by far, are the best days of my life.