Almost 11 months postpartum and a few days after the most challenging race I've ever trained for or done, a 200 mile relay that I ran 18 miles of, (one of the few races ever, actually! ha) I can honestly say that doing this training and completing a half marathon last month have been one of the absolute greatest things I have ever done for myself. I am still not where I was before my last pregnancy but mentally, I am the strongest I have ever been, and I proved that to myself.
This training process has been a slow (VERY slow) progression from "there's no way" to "maybe I can" and then finally, this past month, I've shown myself I CAN. Many months ago (I'm convinced it was in a postpartum fog ;) ) I decided I wanted to train and complete the half marathon that I didn't get to before baby. A couple years ago, I was just a few weeks into training for a half marathon in Outter Banks, NC (and I will still do that one day!) when we discovered a new little life stirring inside and those plans got put on hold. I was determined to give it another try after baby and I found a half marathon that was 10 months out from baby, so I decided to go for it. Well. I can honestly say that getting back to running and a good fitness level after a baby is HARDDDD! It's like everything inside just goes nutty (and it does) and it's a VERY S L O W process to getting it all back in order again. But this weekend and following the half marathon a few weeks ago, I proved something huge to myself. I proved that I can run 13.1 miles at one time and 18 miles in a relay. But it's more than that. It's more than physical. I proved to myself that I can commit to something big and do it. I CAN eat an elephant...one bite at a time. I can make healthy choices and I can fuel my body properly. I can live a healthy lifestyle as an example for my children and I can take care of myself. Everyday we have a choice. We can live, fuel, and build our bodies that God has entrusted to us or we can slowly but surely destroy it. None of this comes "natural" to me. I'm not a "runner", but I run. I'm not a small girl, but I'm healthy. I made a choice before I entered my 30's to be intentional and take time to nurture, fuel, and take care of my body. I'm so glad I did. It affects each and every area of my life. Chris and I are still newbies to healthy living, when you consider a lifetime, but it got a hold of us and I am so glad it did! It has been one of the more rewarding, challenging, and worth it journeys we have ever taken together. Probably second only to child rearing. It has brought us closer together and brought our family closer together. It’s something we can all appreciate together and has certainly been something that’s helped us in so many areas and ways in our life. Aside from the obvious health benefits, it’s always helping us cope with stress, adjusting the sails for all the curve balls life throws and strenthening our bond with the kids and with one another. We aren't purists, we certainly have our share of junk from time to time, but we love this lifestyle. We love running with the kids and helping them learn, by example and conversation, what it takes to be mindful and healthy...mentally, physically and spiritually.
I’m so excited to see what the future holds! For them and for us! Its absolutely amazing to think of the possibilities. Once you get through the rough part, the first few months when you feel like your just treading water...or drowning, then all of a sudden it clicks and it all just feels so right! There's no secret diet or exercise plan. No magic involved. Just making your mind up and going for it. You just have to want it bad enough. And you have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone. "Your comfort zone keeps you safe, but if you never take risks, you will never know the limitless beauty that God has waiting for you on the other side."
I stressed for weeks over that relay. I didn't believe I was capable and I knew I was the slowest on the team. My first leg in that 200 mile relay was 3.5 miles. I smiled the whole time! I couldn’t believe my little introverted self. I was actually doing something waayyy out of the comfort zone. I ran the fastest 5k of my life and it felt so gooooood!!! It was followed by a horrindous 6 miler in the heat of the day that I will also never forget. And the night run at 2 am with my bff. He guided me, and with each mile of those 5, I literally loved him more and more. He is an amazing leader of our family and is so gentle in guidance, even during a night run. I love that man. And I finished strong, after the son rose the next day with a 2.6 miler that was awesome! I want to remember it all...what it felt like to train for my first half, and what it felt like to stand at the start with all very experienced runners and KNOW I was gonna finish last, but instead of ducking out, I ran the SAME 13 miles they did, at my own pace and with confidence because I was prepared and ready. It was a turning point for me and I’m so glad I didn’t let my appearance, insecurities, and self doubt get in the way of the growth God had in store!
I stressed for weeks over that relay. I didn't believe I was capable and I knew I was the slowest on the team. My first leg in that 200 mile relay was 3.5 miles. I smiled the whole time! I couldn’t believe my little introverted self. I was actually doing something waayyy out of the comfort zone. I ran the fastest 5k of my life and it felt so gooooood!!! It was followed by a horrindous 6 miler in the heat of the day that I will also never forget. And the night run at 2 am with my bff. He guided me, and with each mile of those 5, I literally loved him more and more. He is an amazing leader of our family and is so gentle in guidance, even during a night run. I love that man. And I finished strong, after the son rose the next day with a 2.6 miler that was awesome! I want to remember it all...what it felt like to train for my first half, and what it felt like to stand at the start with all very experienced runners and KNOW I was gonna finish last, but instead of ducking out, I ran the SAME 13 miles they did, at my own pace and with confidence because I was prepared and ready. It was a turning point for me and I’m so glad I didn’t let my appearance, insecurities, and self doubt get in the way of the growth God had in store!
This isn’t just a physical journey...it’s deeply rooted in all areas of my life and my only regret is that I waited until I was 30 to experience it. And I'm so glad I was able to work through my postpartum doubt and questions and pull through the hard to get to the good, once again. I ran that race with a couple 25 years older than me, and I was giddy excited to think of doing something like that one day with my kids! Lord willing, I hope that I get the opportunity.
I said all this to say, if I can do it, anyone can. I think a lot of people assume, fit and healthy people, just come by it natural and pretty much feel it's out of their reach, I was one of those people. Eating healthy, running, or any kind of exercise is something only you can do for yourself. Not one other person can do it for you. Only you can accomplish what it is you're working towards. Start small, believe in yourself, take back what's been taken from you...your health, stability, positive self image, incredible spiritual connection you have with The One who created your amazing body. There are times it hurts. There are times it feels impossible , but when the finish line is in sight and you finally cross it, it's amazing. It is worth it! I personally was overwhelmed with gratitude for those who believed I could before I did, my husband and my children. I was empowered, and I finally began to see what I am capable of. I am so grateful for this relay and the half marathon in back in September, for the weeks leading up to it, and for the future. It's been an awesome experience and I am just getting started good! I've got a long way to go and there's always room for growth and progress, but for now, this little snail is going to enjoy her view from the ark, help the other little snails make their way to it, and look forward to continued growth, physically, mentally and spiritually.
I said all this to say, if I can do it, anyone can. I think a lot of people assume, fit and healthy people, just come by it natural and pretty much feel it's out of their reach, I was one of those people. Eating healthy, running, or any kind of exercise is something only you can do for yourself. Not one other person can do it for you. Only you can accomplish what it is you're working towards. Start small, believe in yourself, take back what's been taken from you...your health, stability, positive self image, incredible spiritual connection you have with The One who created your amazing body. There are times it hurts. There are times it feels impossible , but when the finish line is in sight and you finally cross it, it's amazing. It is worth it! I personally was overwhelmed with gratitude for those who believed I could before I did, my husband and my children. I was empowered, and I finally began to see what I am capable of. I am so grateful for this relay and the half marathon in back in September, for the weeks leading up to it, and for the future. It's been an awesome experience and I am just getting started good! I've got a long way to go and there's always room for growth and progress, but for now, this little snail is going to enjoy her view from the ark, help the other little snails make their way to it, and look forward to continued growth, physically, mentally and spiritually.
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